So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
