i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I deserve this hangover.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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