I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
