i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
