their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i already hear my dad disowning me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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