didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
