ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize