So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
