She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just high enough for therapy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
