he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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