my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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