I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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