she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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