i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
