...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
