So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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