Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
