Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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