left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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