"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
