You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize