Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just gargled with NyQuil
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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