I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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