I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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