You made me cry and you don't even care
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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