So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am one with the molecules
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
