just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
