i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
