Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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