Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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