How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
