just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize