He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
where are my eyebrows?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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