Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
