I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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