Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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