why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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