and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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