I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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