I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize