..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
