Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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