u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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