Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
