I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
