the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
