come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
