i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
