i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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