If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
