If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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