I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
