the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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