She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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