Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
