why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
