just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize