I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
