I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
