dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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