i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
