went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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