We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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