I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
