If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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