He is an equal opportunity slut.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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