i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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