Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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