Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize