Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she woke up with a sticky ear
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
