oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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