xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
