haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
