New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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