never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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