If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
