He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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