Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
