I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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