the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
