Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
